Diary of A Rough Sex Addict

A Quick Hello

2005-07-14T08:20:00.000-07:00

Well, once again my desire to update frequently has been thwarted by my busy schedule. You would be surpised how much energy and time it takes to sit down and write one of my tales down. I have had a lot of out of town company, which doesn't really afford me much privacy to write either. I promise I will try and get another story in here very soon.

However, nothing seems to stem the tide of sexual desire in me. I find it frustrating that I can not find a man in this town who is interested in my particular fetishes and passions. Most of them seem determined to treat me like I am made out of glass. Psht! As if!

Well, that is enough complaining for now. I will be updating soon!

The Truth

2005-06-13T18:09:00.000-07:00

Someone just emailed me calling me to task about the truthfulness of my stories. Basically, they decided I was either a man pretending to be a woman, making all of this up from scratch or at the very least I was exaggerating my exploits to be sensationalistic.

Nope. It's all true. Seriously.

I really did used to work in a dungeon in LA. I really did do a couple of professional porn movies. I really did appear on the cover a few specialty magazines. I really did do outcall work. Period. Unfortunately in order for me to prove any of this I would have to give you proof of my identity. And that ain't gonna happen. I lead a different life in a different town now. No one I know knows about this blog and I intend to keep it that way. Not that it's something I am ashamed of, it's just PERSONAL.

As far as my embellishing stories, there are some details I leave out, such as when someone accidently leans on my hair, the time out to put on a condom, the phone ringing, lost erections, or any of the other mundane interruptions that can happen during any encounter. I will occasionally change the setting of an encounter if I am concerned that too much accuracy might give away the identities of any of the parties involved. I always change the names of the participants to protect their identities, but I usually got a fake name from them to begin with.

If my stories sound a bit over the top, bear in mind I am only sharing with you the outstanding encounters of several years in the sex industry. You factor in that I worked 30 hours a week 52 weeks a year with no vacations or holidays and occasionally saw several clients a day there is a good chance that some of them were going to be pretty outlandish.

And that's all I am going to say about that. I don't benefit from lying to you. Quite frankly, I am not that bored.

Just an Update

2005-06-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

I am trying to update at least once a week, but with my schedule it is hard to keep up with.

I have been seized with fits of pure nymphomania lately. I swear I am going at myself so much I am starting to get blisters. I actually got a callus once... it wasn't fun. I need a big hard cock attached to a very eager man with a tongue like an anteater, but alas in the podunk town I have found myself living in recently all I can find is beer bellied NASCAR dads and prudes. I find many men are alienated by my past (not to mention my still-present proclivities in bed). When I am dating a man and the time comes to tell him about what I used to do for a living they either become WAY to interested in the sordid details, making me feel like a sideshow novelty, or they shut down about halfway through and decided I am not what they are looking for. So instead I currently have to settle for my Hitachi Magic Wand and solitude. And masturbating 3 times a day.

And you wonder why I never have time to update this thing???

European Rape Fiends

2005-06-04T18:27:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned before, while I working in the dungeons, I would occasionally meet a client who I would decide to take on as a private client, either because he amused me or he was willing to pay quite a bit more money for a little more "freedom" in our sessions. This, of course, was strictly against the rules in the dungeon. But somehow either the siren song of extra cash before rent day or the lure of even kinkier sex was louder than anything else.

I had this rather attractive French client, we'll call him "Pierre", come in one time. He wanted basic spanking etc, which usually is a dead give away they aren't there for the bondage, they are hoping you will fuck them. After a bit of negotiating, I found out that indeed this was the case. I explained to him that I couldn't do that as it was against the rules of the house as well as the law. He was persistent, telling me that if he could just meet me on the outside, he had a friend who would love me and they would pay me quite handsomely to do a threesome with them.

Hmmmm.....

We agreed to meet up the following day.

When Pierre arrived for our encounter, he had a rather large German man with him, we'll call him Deiter. Dieter wasn't into wasting time. As soon as the door closed he grabbed me from behind and began roughly squeezing my breasts while rubbing his already hard cock on my ass. I politely allowed him to do this passively as I had been trained to do. Pierre just watched, breathless and enthralled. I soon figured out that Deiter was in some regard Pierre's hero and sexual role model. Soon, Pierre came over and began pinching my nipples as Deiter moved his hands downward towards my panties. He forced his hands between my thighs and spread my legs with his powerful arms. Pierre moved in and began rubbing his hips against my pussy through my panties. I could feel his hard cock straining through his pants and rubbing against the fold of my hot sex.

Deiter decided that the bed was the place to be. He flung me down face first, grabbing a handful of my ass on the way. He came up behind me, fingering and massaging my pussy roughly through my panties. His advances were rough and rubbing me raw, especially as he tried to shove his fingers into my cunt through the satin. Pierre positioned himself in front of me and encouraged me to take his cock in my mouth. I did so obligingly. His cock was charming, uncut and average. He quivered and moaned as I swallowed it down to the base. Behind me Deiter began his onslaught. He pulled aside the crotch of my underwear and rammed home what could only be described as a flesh baseball bat. His thick cock tore at my unlubricated pussy lips. I gagged on Pierre's cock, stifling a scream. Pierre, in a sudden change of demeanor, grabbed the back of my head and shoved his cock deeper, as if to silence me. I panicked a bit, thinking maybe I had gotten in over my head this time. But after I stopped fighting, Deiter and his thrusting became easier, Pierre let loose of my head and I was able to suck his cock at a leisurely pace. Deiter was thrusting and grunting like a bull, growling cruel sounding things in German and periodically slapping my ass forcefully. He would spread my ass and pussy until I felt I would tear in two so he could watch his enormous cock violate my hole. I felt him begin to stroke my anus with his thumb, testing it's receptivity. Slowly, he slid his thick digit into my ass and thrust it in and out. For some reason, this made me begin to panic again. With a cock in my mouth, a cock in my pussy and his thumb in my ass in a strange motel room I felt vulnerable and endangered. I began to buck and struggle, trying to pull Pierre's cock out of my mouth and get away from Deiter's grasp. Pierre clung tight to my hair. I felt his thighs tensing and his hips began to pump upwards to meet my mouth. Deiter took extreme delight in my struggles, doubling his efforts and jerking his thumb in my asshole back and fourth rapidly so my ass bounced and shook. Pierre pulled my head closer and closer, and his cock went deeper and deeper into my throat, making me gag and sealing my airway. I put my hands on his hips and tried pushing away. Dieter saw this and began grunting even louder and fucking me so hard I thought my pelvis would shatter. As I struggled to breathe, I felt my body involuntarily letting go. I felt my cunt tense around the cock that battered and tore at it and I cried out against the one that was begining to spurt and pump at the back of my throat. I began to roll my hips in a spastic, mind-shattering involuntary orgasm. I felt Deiter shudder behind me, crying out and swearing in German, clawing at the ample flesh around my hips and finally biting my shoulders hard over and over again as he came. Pierre released me, and I collapsed on top of his legs, quiver, injured, and spent. Deiter collapsed on top of me, panting and sweaty. After a moment the 2 men exchanged words in French, and Deiter got up and went into the bathroom. Pierre asked me if I was ok. I was shaking and felt a little queasy, but I told him yes I was ok. He got off the bed, opened his wallet and gave me $100 more than we had agreed upon. He got dressed and we waited for Deiter to come out of the bathroom. When he finally came out he got dressed and they left. The entire time Deiter was there, he never once acknowledged me or spoke a word directly to me. I found that interesting.

That was also the time that I found out that strangulation by cock REALLY turns me on ;)

note: All of my stories are true. The one detail I chose *not* supply in them is the fact that I *always* used condoms. For the sake of narrative I leave that detail out, but I have always felt that the activities I am involved in are risky enough with out adding disease in the mix.

I'm Back!

2005-06-04T18:19:00.000-07:00

Did you miss me? I apologize for my long absence, especially since I had just started this blog. Unfortunately I had a rather dire health emergence that needed tending to. But now I am back and right as rain!

Electric Pussy Clip

2005-04-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

You like porn? Sure we all do! Here is a little 22 second clip of electric pussy torture from a site called wiredpussy.com. This link wil lbe up for 7 days, after that it is history my friend. And if you like what you see go subscribe to their site.

And no, I get nothing from them for this, I just thought the clip was hot and would share it.

Pervs in the News - Girl Held for Sex with Dog

2005-04-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

Tzaneen - Three dogs were put down after villagers allegedly caught a 12-year-old girl having sex with one of the animals....

Pr0nSpider

2005-04-06T13:09:00.000-07:00

Ugh. After a long weekend of travel I am now SICK. I had intended on updating this site with more deliciously naughty true tales, but right now I just want to go back to bed.

I will however share with you the awesome Pr0nSpider!

Pr0nSpider is an awesome program that will go out and find all kinds of porn, in both picture and video format and saves it to your hard drive. It doesn't seem to nab anything malicious (like spyware and viruses) and I haven't gotten anything vile like "goatse" or "tubgirl" (and if you don't know what those are I HIGHLY recommend you do NOT try to find them, There are somethings in this life that you can't "unsee"). I have been using it for a while and have only gotten good results so far, even though their fetish content is a bit limited.

I think I might start sharing some of the free content I have found here. I know a way to do it with a minimum of hassle... and if it drives traffic to the sites of origin more the better.

Sorayama Pin-Ups

2005-04-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

I find some of these pictures deeply erotic. I have a personal "thing" for machine sex and tentacle/snake porn. I have been trying to design a tattoo of a woman copulating with an octopus based on a 15th century Japanese carving I saw once. So far I am haivng a hard time finding an artist who can do it.

http://www.sexnfun.net/2005/03/mpinups.html

Divine Interventions Dildos

2005-04-02T08:10:00.000-08:00

Delightfully dirty and blasphemous dildos in the shape of jesus, crucifixes, the devil, and more.

http://www.divine-interventions.com/

I have a very busy weekend ahead, with much long distance travel and scuttling about. I will try and give you another more "fleshy" update, but as it stand right now I will be lucky if I have time to breathe let alone anything else until Monday.

Deep Thoughts

2005-04-01T18:28:00.000-08:00

Hm, Blogger has been acting crazy lately. Come to think of it, everything is acting crazy lately. Servers are down, April Fool's Day, mercury retrograde. The chaos is deafening.

I have been working on stockpiling tales for this blog so that I can post even when I don't have the time to write stuff down. So far, the traffic is picking up slowly (verrry slowly), but it is heartening to see a few people are interested. I added a hit counter at the bottom of the page, just to see if this is or interest to anyone but me. It's something I have wanted to do for years, but hadn't had the time or the resources. Mostly, I wanted an avenue of expression that was as anonymous as possible. I have had "stalkers" before and it isn't fun, and I certainly didn't want them returning or to acquire new ones.

I would love to post some pictures (not necessarily of myself, that would defeat the whole "anonymity" thing) but I have yet to find a decent and reliable hosting service. If anyone has any suggestions you can email me at sexblog at gmail dot com or leave a comment here.

The Sublime Art of Geoff Ridgeway

2005-04-01T03:53:00.000-08:00

This page had me breathing heavy in no time. CGI art of women impaled on various diabolical machines, limbs stretched to the breaking point. Truly some amazing and surreal work. The site even includes some short animations of the machines in play that got me so hot I had to leave my computer for a few minutes.

Check it out.

El Bastardo, The Pussy Punisher

2005-03-30T06:03:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite regulars was the one I called El Bastardo. The guy was a complete misogynist and had some very sadistic tendencies... and he turned me on like no tomorrow. He was actually a pretty nice guy outside of session, but in session the gloves came off.
His particular fetish was for watching white women with black men. Or talking about white women with black men. Or thinking about white women with black men. Now, that's not a particular fetish of mine, but I was more than happy to play along with EB. He was a very tall, handsome man with a bad reputation with the other girls for wanting things you weren't supposed to do, but I didn't care. He wanted a slut and it was a role I would gladly play.

A typical scene with him went like this: He would pretend I was his girlfriend whom he had just caught cheating on him with a black man (this apparently happened to him in real life, hence his ongoing resentment towards "sluts"). He would pull my hair back and hiss in my ear what a slut I was, how I was the most over-fucked bitch he had ever met, etc. He loved for me to lay on my back with my legs spread wide so he could stare at my pussy and prod it with any black leather object. At first, his proddings were merely superficial, nudging at my pussy lips and clit gently, occasionally giving them a slap with a crop. Gradually, he tested the waters of my willingness to bend the rules, sliding the handle of the crop just slightly inside of me, bringing an enormous black dildo into session and threatening me with it's ruthless penetration. Once he saw that I was more than willing to indulge his passions, he would force me onto my back, pry my thighs apart and cruelly penetrate me with anything handy. He loved to use the handle of a black leather flogger, because it was large and unyielding, and the leather would defeat the best efforts of any lubrication my body would put forth as a defense. He forced the handle past the outer lips of my pussy as I winced from the pain. Once he got it in as far as it would go, he would move it in and out roughly, ignoring my cries and please for him to stop. He gave me a large black double-headed dildo and would force me to masturbate with it while he watched, slapping the insides of my thighs and calling me a whore. He focused all his energies on punishing the source of my imagined infidelity- my pussy. I often left our sessions sore and burning from the abuse my pussy would take at his hands. Eventually, I began seeing him as a client outside of the Dungeon. He would take me in his car and force me to proposition black men on the street. Thank god none of them ever took me up on it (most of them were put off by the fact that he wanted to watch). Once the game started to become to dangerous for me I had to call it off.

But I must say, I did miss him afterwards.

Fishnets and Mr. Pushy Nipples

2005-03-29T21:40:00.000-08:00

My second client made me realize the high weirdness I was in for. He was a small man, very fussy and cranky. He liked girls with very large breasts, so I fit the bill. He also wanted a switch (someone who can take either role in a scene) which I definitely was NOT. But, he was adamant and I needed money. His whole scenario revolved around some very lame story about industrial espionage or some such thing. I was to stand facing the corner and then turn around and pretend to catch him "stealing secret documents". Then I was to tie him to a gynecological table, pinch his nipples very hard and pretend to try and get information out of him. At some point, he wanted to "break free" from my bondage and then capture me. Haha! The tables have turned! Then he would pinch my nipples and I was to pretend to get turned on etc etc. The whole thing seemed fairly straight forward, even though I was TOTALLY out of my element, as I didn't like being a Top or role playing at all.

So, the guy was wearing a pair of blue sweats and tennis shoes. He told me to stand in the corner, take my top and bra off, and wait for him to cue me before I turned around. Ok, easy enough. I heard him rustling around and setting out equipment. Then he told me to turn around.

When I turned around, gone were the harmless blue sweats and in their place he was naked except for a pair of fishnet stockings.

NOT what I expected. I mean he could have WARNED me about that part! The whole scene was awkward and I felt like a rank amature. It mostly consisted of him pinching my nipples lightly and obsessively and muttering "There you go you little SLUT!" while humping the corner of the table through his fishnets and I pretended to be in pain. He eventually got off and thanked me, but in all I found him pushy and unpleasant. A few months later he came in and saw another girl who canceled the session half-way through when he tried to force her into a body bag. When she told him she wasn't comfortable with that he became irate and abusive. she had to call for assistance and he was almost blacklisted from the club. A few weeks after that, she and I were walking down the street late one night when he came around the corner! He was so startled by seeing us together on a street corner at 3am he scuttled off like a frightened crab.

Pervs in the News - Russian Scientists Suggest Caning to Cure Drug Addicts

2005-03-29T06:56:00.000-08:00

http://mosnews.com/news/2005/03/28/nopainnogain.shtml

A group of Russian scientists has suggested caning as a treatment for those who suffer from drug and alcohol addiction as well as depression and suicidal tendencies, the Izvestia daily reports...

My First Time

2005-03-28T17:13:00.000-08:00

I suppose I shall begin at the beginning.

I came to work at the Dungeon as my first job in the sex industry. Without going into a lot of details I just don't feel like discussing at the moment, let's just say this was where I felt I belonged. I was going to have to start as a submissive, which was fine by me. This basically meant that men would pay $150 an hour to tie me up, beat me, molest me and subject me to multitudes of torments and fetishes and I would get half the proceeds. The rest of the time consisted of sitting around smoking and chatting with the other ladies. Not a bad gig in all reality. I had the right to decline anything I didn't wish to participate in and most of the time the guys were ok.

My first client was a rather large and unappealing deaf man who was a regular. He was one of the "creepy" clients who always tried to take it a bit too far. Now let's be clear, this venue was a legitimate business. We were not supposed to have sex with any of the clients and had strict rules about such conduct. That didn't' mean it didn't' HAPPEN, that just means you weren't supposed to. But you would be surprised what the promise of a $50 tip can do for you when rent was due and it had been a slow month. That said, some clients considered the new girls easy pickings and would try extra hard to push the boundaries of acceptable conduct.

Deaf Guy picked me, of course, because I was new and visibly. He took me into a room with a large wooden cross and a stretching rack. I was terrified, as I had no idea what to expect. His first move was to undress me strap me to the cross with wide leather belts. He began fondling my breasts passionately right away. This was a bit shocking and uncomfortable for me at first, but eventually I found myself involuntarily becoming excited by his advances. He tugged at my nipples incessantly, whispering "lovely... lovely" in a lurid voice. Suddenly, he slapped my breasts forcefully, making them swing and bounce with the force of his blows. I winced, still trying to deny the growing excitement in my loins. He pulled hard on my nipples, chuckling when I cried out in pain. He blindfolded me and began putting all manner of clamps and clips on my nipples. the pain was excruciating. Suddenly he ripped off the clamps and sucked my entire nipple into his mouth and began sucking hard. I kicked and squirmed, making desperate and confused noises in the back of my throat. He pushed my breasts together until my nipples touched and ran his tongue along them both like a snake. My hips were thrusting and bucking by now and I struggled to get away from that flicking caress. He finally unstrapped me from my cross and walked me over to the rack, my knees shaking and my head reeling. After tying me spread eagle and naked to the rack, he stretched my out so that my legs were as spread as they could be. I felt terror rising in me again, along with a sense of excitement. I was worried and embarrassed he could see how wet and swollen I was. He pulled a small leather flogger out and began gently striking my bare pussy with underhand strokes. The tickling sting of each stoke was drawing a response out of me I had not expected. I did not find this man the least bit attractive, in fact I found him creepy and disturbing, but somehow that was contributing to my excitement. As he struck harder and harder, I began to squirm and my heavy breathing began to betray me. He chanted "lovely... lovely... lovely" again under his breath and pulled out his cock to stroke it with his free hand. His blows on my exposed vulva came faster and faster, and the force increased to the point where I would cry out with each searing stroke. I felt myself beginning to climax, when suddenly he stopped and dropped the whip. He stood there, stroking his short unappealing cock and grinning at me as I writhed in frustration. He took two fingers and reached out and violently rubbed my clit up and down in broad strokes, my mound bouncing and shaking with each furious pass. My thighs began to quiver. I wanted this creep to stop touching me and felt a sense of self loathing at my unexpected response to his touch yet at the same time I felt a longing for this to continue. Suddenly, I came like a shotgun, pumping and panting like a desperate animal. He came too, squirting all over my knee.

After a moment, he picked up a towel and cleaned me up. He untied me without a word and I cleaned up the equipment while he gathered his wits. I walked him up to the front desk (as we were supposed to do so the front desk knew we were ok) and saw him off. He didn't tip me, but that was ok. I felt kind of weird for the rest of the evening, even after the second and far stranger client came to see me (more on him later). Deaf Guy became a regular client of mine for a while until he creeped me out so much I had to pass him off on an unsuspecting new girl.

Why This Blog?

2005-03-28T13:39:00.000-08:00

"So what was it REALLY like?"
I have been asked this question many times over, and yet I can never quite explain why I spent the better part of the 90s working in the Adult Entertainment industry in a major American city, let alone what it was "like". As a "plus size" woman, I think it surprises many people that I was able to support myself having sex or being in sexual situations with men. In all honesty, while I was definitely not the most popular girl on the market, I held my own and had many devoted clients. The leggy blonds weren't really the hot property, it was the girl-next-door who prospered, the one who looked like the kind of girl you had a crush on in the 8th grade, but never had the nerve to ask out.
The men came looking for more than sex, they wanted the fantasy, companionship, something "real" they could hold on to in their minds after they went home. They were looking for something they often times had never had, but thought they could rent by the hour. Love, or an affordable facsimile. To answer some quick questions before they are asked:

1. No, I was not sexually abused as a child
2. Yes, I might be a bit of a nymphomaniac
3. I never had a drug problem
4. I wasn't a streetwalker
5. I am rather fond of men actually.

I started this journal to educate, titillate, and verbally fornicate. I started this journal to remind myself of headier times before the desk job and the perpetual quiet evenings in front of "must-see tv" and frozen dinners.

I started this journal for me, but I hope you enjoy it too.